What's LOVE got to do with it?

In our modern society, we are fascinated and ruled by the thought of Romantic Love.
Hearts, Flowers, Candy, Long walks in the moonlight. 
But my Ancestors probably did not have that same luxury.  The Ancestors in my tree had to scramble, work and starve as they eked out a life. The thought of Romantic Love probably never entered their minds.

As I have written about, my first Cockerham relative was married to a Cherokee woman in the late 1700's. Did he love her in that way? More than likely he needed a woman for several reasons; an ambassador to the tribal lands he wanted to explore,  a work mate, a sex partner, someone to raise his children, tend his stock and mend his clothes. Was his wife in love with him? Or did she do as she was told by her parents or tribe? Did she regret hitching her life to his? There are no letters, diaries or family history to say either way. They raised several children together, and those children were successful, so I must imagine the union was successful as well.

My 4x Great Grandfather Samuel married a girl that was close to his family in location. Theirs was a union of convenience I'm sure. Elisabeth already had a child by an unknown man, though Samuel was her first marriage. When Samuel died late in the Civil War, she was already pregnant with his brothers child. She married the brother, James S.A. within two months of Samuel dying. Did She love James? Again, it's hard to know what was in her mind, except providing for her living children. She went on to birth 10 more by James.

David and Eva Harms and Family

Recently I was gifted with copies of a diary set down by my 2xGreat Grandmothers husband, David Harms. David was a Russian immigrant, Eva was a Polish immigrant. They both went to the same Mennonite church. I think David saw her first, as Eva worked as a maid for David's brother, as well as tended children at church functions. One day he went into the nursery and declared his fondness for her, and declared he wanted to be her husband. She was surprised, to be sure.

David wrote, " We decided to pray on this matter. Later we agreed that this was God's plan for us. I took her to be a gift from God, for me. We drove to her parents to ask her father Unruh, he said,  "Na, Eva. Waut welst dru met dem Russa Jung?"  We were of different dialects, she came from Poland, and I from Russia. We could hardly understand each other, but love is the same language, which we can all understand. We were married August 1 1881."
Later Eva wrote that when David was sick and bound to die, she spent the night next to his bed praying for her beloved husband to recover. He did.

Closer to my generation, my Grandmother Laura Gloeckler absolutely fell in love with my Grandfather. She was Eva's Granddaughter. Laura had been sent ahead of her family from Canada to Wasco, California. She was 15 years old and a long way from her home and most of her family. I believe she met Wally through a friend. Laura had never been considered a handsome girl, she was gawky and 'low'. But she fell in love and  Wally fell in love with her. They were married May 30, 1931. They had three children.
A testament to this is a strange story that Laura recounted to me.
She was pregnant with their first child, and went to a maternity home to give birth. There, to her surprise, she gave birth to twin boys. The Doctor knew she was having twins, but didn't want to scare her, so he kept that information from her. Both boys were very small. One was particularly weak, and not really expected to survive. The Doctor took my Grandfather aside and told him he should leave the weak baby there, were they would take care of it until it died. Wally took one look at Laura and the two babies in her arms and refused. Though they had little money, he went home and emptied and drawer, lined it with blankets and brought Laura and the two babies home, where both boys thrived.
They were married for over 50 years.

Surprises! You Bet!

I've been working on my Genealogy for about 10 years now. Meaning that I had always heard the stories, seen some pictures, knew basic outlines of the family tree but started pulling it all together into a document about 10 years ago. I thought I had a lot of it figured out-

                                                              BOY was I mistaken!

Thanks to Amy Johnson Crow and this 52 weeks of Ancestors, I have delved a little more deeply into the 'brush' and I have had my share of surprises- especially today!

                                  Let me 'splain~

My own Grandmother Laura Gloeckler Regester was sort of the family 'historian'; knowing who came from where and who married who. She was a saver of the best order. Clippings, cards, scrapbooks, photographs and the like. My sweet Grandmother started me on my journey with several had written genealogical style letters. Grandma Laura passed away in 1985. I gathered a lot of her stuff together and it languished in my garage. I'd go out and rummage through it sometimes, looking for pictures or what not, but I never delved too deeply.

FAST FORWARD to 2018. My husband and I retired to the country, I packed up the photos and ephemera and brought it to the new home. I can't bear to put any of it into storage because I am afraid it will be ruined by critters, damp mold or water, so it is stacked in boxes in all my closets and in my office.

TODAY- It is pouring rain- thunder and wind make it unpleasant to go out into the garden, so I decided to take the time to do some photo scans into the computer. I went through a few small boxes, scanned some photos and moved to the next box. It was one of Grandma's. An old battered turkey box, with a pretty older box inside.

 I open it and see a vintage notebook from the Santa Fe Railroad. One of Grandpa's I supposed, since he spent 40 years of his life as a Santa Fe man.

 I open the little note book and SURPRISE ! Grandpa's writing jumps out at me. I squint and read...
It is my 2X Great Grandfathers name- the name I have been searching for.
Under it are his wife's name, my Great Grandmothers name and surname and SURPRISE again- her long lost middle name and guess what! SURPRISE- it is the same as mine! Barbara!

It also has a list of children and when they were born. SURPRISE! I've never seen this list and only knew for certain of one other child. AND SURPRISE- an ANCHOR NAME jumps out at me!

I catch my breath. I can't believe it.

I delve further into the box.

I find pictures of my mother as a child. Her brothers as babies, Grandmothers whole family in small black and white KODAK photos and no surprise- my grandmother has written the names and years on the back of all of them.

Then I find my Great Grandfathers and Great Grandmothers wedding portrait. And a list of dates and names for them and their children.

And then I find photos of my 3X Great Grandfather and mothers Portraits.

WHY HAVEN'T I EVER SEEN THIS BOX BEFORE! ??

I am floored. To have had all this and to never have known! How easily I could have thrown it all away in my move . ( But of course I never throw anything with documents or photos away- even if they aren't mine!)


So this is the UNIVERSE telling me to keep searching and never to throw ANYTHING away!


Surprise! I never will! 

Down the Rabbit Hole

                             In the Library- or as I like to refer to it- Down the Rabbit Hole.

Do you ever get into a store, filled with wonderful things, and your mind goes blank? You can't focus on the one thing that brought you there? You get excited by all the POSSIBILITIES!?

Asking for a friend... no, that won't work here.

Yea. Me too.

The Library has been and always shall be that place for me.

The helpful ladies and gentlemen at the desk can usually steer me in the correct direction, namely the resource desk. You can access all kinds of records, from the whole United States if you want to.

I want to- but it intimidates me on a HUGE level. Then I end up in the Historical Romance.... eh... I mean Non Fiction... stacks and that is that.

But I have found another place nearly as wonderful and I am sure many of you have already utilized it in your own quests.

The Mormon Church: or as they refer to it now- Latter Day Saints ( LDS) .

My Great Aunt Ruth Brendt in an angel costume.

Say what you want about the Saints, but their records are amazing.  Most larger LDS chapters have a Family History Center, (FHC). It is chock full of amazing records.

LDS Church, Salt Lake City

     They can give one on one service to patrons ( you don't have to be a LDS member to use it).

     They provide access to genealogical records via the internet- such as Ancestry, Family Search,  and other sites that you may have to pay for with a  membership fee - at FHC you can access them  for free.

They provide classes for researching too, ( depending on the Church location).

There are aver 4700 FHC in the country. To find one near you go to FamilySearch.org and click on Find a Family History Center, enter your country, state or place on the map and it shows you the closest FHC to that address.

I was able to order a rare book, have it sent to the local FHC and read it there. I was able to trace a lot of my McIntire history as well as my Cockrum history through that book. I found the book via the WIKI link site.

For me, because my attention span is sometimes like that of a black Crow in a room full of shiny objects, having a dedicated Library of just genealogy is a godsend. It narrows my focus, and provides me with people to turn to for questions and advice.

Oh the places I have yet to go!

Me and my baby sister on our pet burro, Cha Cha 1961

Who would you like to meet, if you could choose an ancestor to have a meal with?

What a fun question!

So many choices and so many stories I'd want to hear! Each era would have a special moment!

BUT....if I had to choose only one, I would choose my 7x G Grandmother ~ Elizabeth Cockerum

You will see why in a moment~

Original 13 States

In 1780 , when she was born, the United States of America had just become a 'thing', a going concern and had begun it's journey to be the Greatest Nation on Earth. But though it has been through the Revolutionary War, the War of 1812 is still looming on the horizon. The Native Americans are still holding an uneasy truce with the settlers and explorers now coming for free land and the promise of a better future. The land looks vast and empty but it is inhabited with people of many tribes. Cherokee people are friendly to many settlers, and if a man was brave and strong and clever, he married into a tribe to assure his passage through their lands and to have a help mate in his endeavors.

Shallow Ford. Did Elizabeth and John Y cross the River here?

Such a union was undoubtedly the reason behind my 7x Great Grandmothers marriage to John Y (Jessee) Cockerham. I am quite certain she had a name given to her by her parents, but in 1780 tribal births were not recorded. The name that I have found for her is Elizabeth. (And as side note they may have called her Alice). She and John Y lived on the banks of the Chattahoochee River and ran a Ferry service.
 I found them in ECHOS(publication) 1982, Volume 27, a reprint. The Cherokee Treaty , July 18, 1817

" John Cockram (sic) in right of WIFE, southside of Chattahoochee River, near Shallow Ford, (Nov. 10) with Six in family. 

But in another weird twist- I found that the family moved in 1808! BEFORE the Treaty was signed. 

John Y  must have felt the tensions rising. How astute must he have been to set off earlier !

Original Territory of the Cherokee Nation

The Cherokee Treaty, in 1817 agreement gave the Cherokee an equal amount of land in Arkansas. The Cherokee ceded lands in northwest Georgia and southwest Carolina for this Treaty. A minority of Cherokee agreed to the swap, most did not. The intent of the Treaty was to extinguish all Cherokee claims in North Carolina, (but another Treaty was needed for that 2 years later).

A little more research and I found that the Treaty  gave the emigrants a flat bottom boat, one rifle gun, ammunition, one blanket and one brass kettle and a beaver trap, which was considered full compensation for the improved land they left behind.

Louisiana Purchase Territory map

The opening of the Louisiana Purchase lands in 1804  made all this possible, and the President of the United States was also trying to settle the land West of the Mississippi , the Arkansas River and the White River with people who were hearty, and loyal to the USA.

The way I found Elizabeth and John Y was their son- Henry Clay Cockrum- born in 1809. He must have been one of the six that were noted. Henry Clay became a Judge for Randolph County in Arkansas.

Henry Clay also had a Native American name, given to him by his mother- Au Nuk Ka Tah.

Can you imagine- a half breed man as a Judge in Arkansas in 1820? What an incredible man he must have been and what an incredible woman Elizabeth must have been to name him with a famous American name as well as her Native name?  How extraordinary she must have been, encouraging him to be better than a Ferryman or Farmer.

Elizabeth holds a lot of the answers to my questions.
What was the land like in 1790's and beyond?
What induced her to marry a Scot?
What was her parents name? Where did they live? Who were they?
Did you receive any compensation for your lands?
I could add to that list all day!

I may never have the answers to any of those questions. I may never find her grave, or the grave of her husband John Y. But in my research I have learned about American History, I have reached out to many new cousins, and who knows? Maybe they have some answers for me.

My father, Thural D Berry. Thick black hair, and a hawk like gaze.

I was always told that we have Native American blood. I wanted to believe it, but the chances of it being true were slim. When I found Elizabeth in the Census, and in the publication, when I traced her blood through my generations, I was so excited. The amount of NA blood is very diluted now- but I am proud of it just the same.

It showed itself in various members of my family, my father had jet black hair and a muscled body. His Grandmother, Senia Mae Cockrum  also had jet black hair and high cheekbones. Dad said she still lived in a family cabin as an old woman, on the banks of the Current River in Arkansas. He said she smoked a corn cob pipe and he was a little bit afraid of her.

Unusual names and Anchor People

As I work my way through my genealogy tree, I have found some unusual names. I call these my  'Anchors'.

Thural D Berry age 7

For me, Anchors are the ones that have names so unusual it is easy to find them in records and other family trees. They stand out like a beacon in a census or a newspaper article, on a gravestone or in a diary. In a sea of Williams. Johns and Alice's, Anchors are a welcome relief.

If you have a common surname, you are praying for Anchors.

My surname is Berry. Pretty common, especially in the Ozarks and in Tennessee and Kentucky. There were lots of Berry's because they were having lots of children.  The Families lived deep in the woods, on the Current River, in the Ozarks and throughout the south. The settlements were remote and small; there weren't too many opportunities for selecting a mate. In other words, our gene pool was mighty shallow! Often a family of brothers married a family of sisters.
In my family if a brother died, another brother married his wife and took care of her children. Of course then they usually had more children. So the ol' family tree has some pretty twisted up branches and a lot of confusion.

My first Anchor in the Berry Family tree is Pridgen Berry. Born to Samuel Berry and Elizabeth Ann Melton, May 15, 1856. The path from myself to Pridgen is very straight forward,It's easy to keep his name straight in my mind and in my tree. But for cousins of mine, the path is a little more convoluted.
You see, Samuel and his brothers joined the Confederate Army. Sam died in the Battle of Franklin, November 1864,in Tennessee and Isaac was captured and sent to a Prisoner of War camp. As we know from previous posts, Isaac was allowed to leave once he swore not to take up arms against the Union ever again. Family legend has it that Isaac walked away from the POW camp, and never contacted his family again. Of course with the internet, we are now able to find him, but that isn't the story I'm telling.
Samuel was gone to war, but his younger brother, James Anderson Berry stayed home to help the family survive. Samuel and Elizabeth were married in May 1854. Their first daughter was born in 1854, but I don't know which month. Pridgen was born in 1856, and Isabella the 2nd daughter was born in 1859. Clementine, 3rd daughter was born in 1861, while Samuel was away at war. She was raised by Fereba Jane Benton Berry~ Samuel's son's Pridgen's wife's 2nd cousin. ( Fereba is another Anchor).
Now Samuel died November 1864. And Elizabeth married his brother James Anderson Berry very soon after and had a son, who she named James A Berry on Christmas Day 1864. She had 8 more children by James Anderson. Her last child was born in 1876. And to top it all off, she also cared for a step son- Henry Berry- born in 1839 to her 2nd husband James Anderson and his (?)Cousin Polly Holland.

Confused yet? I have a large piece of paper with my family tree filled in. I'm sure there are better ways- but I had to write the names all down, connected by lines and arrows. Notes decorate the margins. I still get confused!

You can see how glad I was that I come from Pridgens line!  I always had wondered about the strangeness of that name. When I finally had time to research the female side of the Berry family I found out.

Thural D Berry and William 'Cort' Berry. Circa 1954

Elizabeth's mother was Margaret Vester" Little Cloud" Benton, born in 1810 in Tennessee. ( Another Anchor), her mother was Lucy ( or Levy) Pridgen, born in 1746, Edgecomb, North Carolina. So to my delight I found it to be a family name.

Other Anchors are Mourning, Morning Star, Thural (my father- still don't know where that came from!) Henry Clay 'Au Nuk Ka Tah', and Judge Henry Clay. A lot of the men were named for revered Commanders in the Civil War or famous Political figures. The women had more sedate names, but Makhindra and Melvina do stand out from the rest.

So we can see that even though our current generation of baby makers are naming their children things like, ABCD, and Blanket, it is in no way a 20th or 21st Century trend.

And had I thought of it, I might have christened my children with names that would have made them Anchors too.

But perhaps Virginia and Amelia are just 'old fashioned' enough to qualify!

Challenge

I have a tendency to think of challenges as huge obstacles to overcome.

But of course, a challenge can be as small as a single step.
Websters calls it,1) 'To demand an explanation or justification" 2) "to question the truth of"

That is an AHA! moment if ever I heard one!
As I have gone on to research various branches of my tree I have tapped into such sites as Ancestry, Find a Grave, Family Search, My Heritage and some others. And on more than one occasion I have climbed up into the branches of the wrong tree!

How can that be? Isn't this information verified?
Tricky question, that.
I think it is to some extent, verified. But if your information is wrong and you add it to your site believing it is RIGHT, then you have done us all a grave dis service.

 My first 'challenge' is to justify, to make the truth known, and not add unverified information to the tree.

Louisa B Theis. Undoubtedly the saddest portrait I've ever seen

The 2nd puzzle, ( I hesitate to call it a challenge) is my Great Great Grandmother  Louisa B Theis.
She is buried next to my Grandfather, I've been visiting her grave since I was born. She was one of the first people I have tried to research. She remains shrouded in mystery and sadness.

Born Feb 25,1844 , the country of her birth is still unknown to me. I catch up to her in 1872 or 1873 in Columbus, Ohio. Miss Louisa B Theiss worked for the Ohio State School for the Blind as a seamstress. She made $18.00 a month. I am fairly certain that she was an immigrant, but from where? There were several Theis Families in Columbus at the time, and I do not know Louisa's fathers first name. In fact his last name might even be an anglicized version of Theissen or something similar.


I can only imagine what the Civil War years were like for her living in Columbus Ohio, if indeed that is where she lived. There was a Civil War Confederate Prisoner of War camp in Columbus early in the War. If the captured soldiers swore never to return to their Companies and fight, they could walk around the town. Did Louisa meet a Rebel Prisoner?Was she afraid? Since all of the eligible men and boys were off fighting the war, I am sure there were very few Romantic possibilities for her as a young woman. My 2X Great Grandfather was a Policeman somewhere in Franklin County, but I do not know what year, or even which city. Another Challenge for me to puzzle over.

William Wallace Regester. My 2X great Grandfather.

Louisa was considered quite old when she married my 2xGreat Grandfather William Regester in Franklin, Ohio July 13, 1875. They both would have been 31 years old. He had already served as a Private, Company B, 113 Regiment, Ohio Voluntary Infantry. In August, 1862, age 18 he joined the Army. He mustered out July 6, 1865.

Albert Wallace Regester,aged 16. Taken in Antioch California.

Albert Wallace Regester, age 20. Taken in San Francisco Ca 1899

Their first child was my Great Grandfather Albert Wallace Regester, born in Franklin Co. Ohio in 1879.

Rebica Regester, age 6 months

The second child was a daughter, Rebica (Rebecca?) born 1882. Unfortunately Rebica died a year later in April, 1883 of Brain Fever ( Meningitis). William died in Sept 1884 of Tuberculosis contracted while he was serving in the Army. So at age 40, Louisa was a widow with a young son to care for.
I lose track of Louisa then, not knowing when or how or why she traveled West to California.But the top photo of my Great Grandfather Albert has the stamp of a photographer in Antioch, California. That photo was taken when he was 16 years old, so they must have come before 1895. I find her again near Albany, California,running a boarding house around the turn of the Century.
I know that she died in Contra Costa County and is buried in a family plot in Antioch California. Her son Albert, and Albert's son Wallace - my Grandfather- lay now beside her.

Albert Wallace Regester, taken 1933. He died in 1938 near Antioch, California.

Albert Wallace "Wally" Regester, my Grandfather. Taken about 1933

I've always tried to Challenge myself to find my ancestors using the internet and family letters, as well as free sites. But Louisa always remains just beyond my reach.

She is the first one I wanted to research and she has been the most difficult, the most challenging and will ultimately be the biggest reward, should I succeed in laying out her story.

Ancestry- here I come. 

First~ Getting started

52 Ancestors

I am creating a new blog for a special challenge. The challenge is to take 52 ideas about my ancestors, week by week and add them, after the year ends, to my genealogy pages. Sounds simple enough, but of course it won't be.
Oh I'll begin just fine, but then the weather will get warm and I will want to be outside and in the garden or on my horse- so giving myself this blog also gives me permission to take a few minutes out of each WEEK and write to the weeks prompts.

Wish me luck!

The first prompt is -- FIRST.

Everyone needs to begin somewhere, and the 'go to' first would of course be myself. Ego, Id, self, etc. BUT I am going to begin with the first time I thought about my past, my genealogy.
It would have to be me, under the kitchen table listening to my parents and grandparents telling family stories. Stories of each of their sister, uncles, relatives, grandmothers and grandfathers. I listened with rapt attention, but because I wasn't suppose to be in the room ( little pictures have big ears) I had to sit quietly and not ask questions.
Not ask questions about why my two Great Aunts have wildly different names from the ones they were born with. Not ask questions about where their mother had been. Not ask questions about why Great Uncle Isaac walked away from the Civil war battlefield and was never seen again. Not ask questions about the coffin in the ice house, the run away team through the grape vineyard, my grandfather living in a box to finish high school, or why my grandmother was on her own at age 14.

I have been searching for these answers for a very long time, and only now are some of those questions being answered after searching, slogging, picking my way through many, many pages of documents.
How much easier it would have been to be able to just ask Granny about her father and mother. Or ask Grandfather about his runaway mother.
The first questions would have begun with, " Why?"
Why did they marry?
Why did they Divorce?
Why did Great Grandmother Die?
Why didn't anyone go looking for Isacc?
The question of why begs to be answered with feelings; and feelings are lost among the papers of the past. No one can delve the mind of a long dead relative, one can only speculate. I suppose that is why it is at the end of the long list of questions you are suppose to ask to tell any story.
Who, What, When, Where and WHY.

If anyone reading this blog is involved in the 52 Week Challenge, or is just interested in genealogy, let that be the first question that you ask any living relatives. Let that be the driving question as you write your missives to future generations.
Why you fell in love.
Why you got a divorce.
 Why you moved across the country, the continent, the town.
Tell us the only thing we cannot endeavor to answer correctly for ourselves.
It may be painful, or shameful or thrilling to you, but in a few years our children's children will want to know. They will need to understand.
Let that be your legacy to them.