What's LOVE got to do with it?

In our modern society, we are fascinated and ruled by the thought of Romantic Love.
Hearts, Flowers, Candy, Long walks in the moonlight. 
But my Ancestors probably did not have that same luxury.  The Ancestors in my tree had to scramble, work and starve as they eked out a life. The thought of Romantic Love probably never entered their minds.

As I have written about, my first Cockerham relative was married to a Cherokee woman in the late 1700's. Did he love her in that way? More than likely he needed a woman for several reasons; an ambassador to the tribal lands he wanted to explore,  a work mate, a sex partner, someone to raise his children, tend his stock and mend his clothes. Was his wife in love with him? Or did she do as she was told by her parents or tribe? Did she regret hitching her life to his? There are no letters, diaries or family history to say either way. They raised several children together, and those children were successful, so I must imagine the union was successful as well.

My 4x Great Grandfather Samuel married a girl that was close to his family in location. Theirs was a union of convenience I'm sure. Elisabeth already had a child by an unknown man, though Samuel was her first marriage. When Samuel died late in the Civil War, she was already pregnant with his brothers child. She married the brother, James S.A. within two months of Samuel dying. Did She love James? Again, it's hard to know what was in her mind, except providing for her living children. She went on to birth 10 more by James.

David and Eva Harms and Family

Recently I was gifted with copies of a diary set down by my 2xGreat Grandmothers husband, David Harms. David was a Russian immigrant, Eva was a Polish immigrant. They both went to the same Mennonite church. I think David saw her first, as Eva worked as a maid for David's brother, as well as tended children at church functions. One day he went into the nursery and declared his fondness for her, and declared he wanted to be her husband. She was surprised, to be sure.

David wrote, " We decided to pray on this matter. Later we agreed that this was God's plan for us. I took her to be a gift from God, for me. We drove to her parents to ask her father Unruh, he said,  "Na, Eva. Waut welst dru met dem Russa Jung?"  We were of different dialects, she came from Poland, and I from Russia. We could hardly understand each other, but love is the same language, which we can all understand. We were married August 1 1881."
Later Eva wrote that when David was sick and bound to die, she spent the night next to his bed praying for her beloved husband to recover. He did.

Closer to my generation, my Grandmother Laura Gloeckler absolutely fell in love with my Grandfather. She was Eva's Granddaughter. Laura had been sent ahead of her family from Canada to Wasco, California. She was 15 years old and a long way from her home and most of her family. I believe she met Wally through a friend. Laura had never been considered a handsome girl, she was gawky and 'low'. But she fell in love and  Wally fell in love with her. They were married May 30, 1931. They had three children.
A testament to this is a strange story that Laura recounted to me.
She was pregnant with their first child, and went to a maternity home to give birth. There, to her surprise, she gave birth to twin boys. The Doctor knew she was having twins, but didn't want to scare her, so he kept that information from her. Both boys were very small. One was particularly weak, and not really expected to survive. The Doctor took my Grandfather aside and told him he should leave the weak baby there, were they would take care of it until it died. Wally took one look at Laura and the two babies in her arms and refused. Though they had little money, he went home and emptied and drawer, lined it with blankets and brought Laura and the two babies home, where both boys thrived.
They were married for over 50 years.

Surprises! You Bet!

I've been working on my Genealogy for about 10 years now. Meaning that I had always heard the stories, seen some pictures, knew basic outlines of the family tree but started pulling it all together into a document about 10 years ago. I thought I had a lot of it figured out-

                                                              BOY was I mistaken!

Thanks to Amy Johnson Crow and this 52 weeks of Ancestors, I have delved a little more deeply into the 'brush' and I have had my share of surprises- especially today!

                                  Let me 'splain~

My own Grandmother Laura Gloeckler Regester was sort of the family 'historian'; knowing who came from where and who married who. She was a saver of the best order. Clippings, cards, scrapbooks, photographs and the like. My sweet Grandmother started me on my journey with several had written genealogical style letters. Grandma Laura passed away in 1985. I gathered a lot of her stuff together and it languished in my garage. I'd go out and rummage through it sometimes, looking for pictures or what not, but I never delved too deeply.

FAST FORWARD to 2018. My husband and I retired to the country, I packed up the photos and ephemera and brought it to the new home. I can't bear to put any of it into storage because I am afraid it will be ruined by critters, damp mold or water, so it is stacked in boxes in all my closets and in my office.

TODAY- It is pouring rain- thunder and wind make it unpleasant to go out into the garden, so I decided to take the time to do some photo scans into the computer. I went through a few small boxes, scanned some photos and moved to the next box. It was one of Grandma's. An old battered turkey box, with a pretty older box inside.

 I open it and see a vintage notebook from the Santa Fe Railroad. One of Grandpa's I supposed, since he spent 40 years of his life as a Santa Fe man.

 I open the little note book and SURPRISE ! Grandpa's writing jumps out at me. I squint and read...
It is my 2X Great Grandfathers name- the name I have been searching for.
Under it are his wife's name, my Great Grandmothers name and surname and SURPRISE again- her long lost middle name and guess what! SURPRISE- it is the same as mine! Barbara!

It also has a list of children and when they were born. SURPRISE! I've never seen this list and only knew for certain of one other child. AND SURPRISE- an ANCHOR NAME jumps out at me!

I catch my breath. I can't believe it.

I delve further into the box.

I find pictures of my mother as a child. Her brothers as babies, Grandmothers whole family in small black and white KODAK photos and no surprise- my grandmother has written the names and years on the back of all of them.

Then I find my Great Grandfathers and Great Grandmothers wedding portrait. And a list of dates and names for them and their children.

And then I find photos of my 3X Great Grandfather and mothers Portraits.

WHY HAVEN'T I EVER SEEN THIS BOX BEFORE! ??

I am floored. To have had all this and to never have known! How easily I could have thrown it all away in my move . ( But of course I never throw anything with documents or photos away- even if they aren't mine!)


So this is the UNIVERSE telling me to keep searching and never to throw ANYTHING away!


Surprise! I never will! 

First~ Getting started

52 Ancestors

I am creating a new blog for a special challenge. The challenge is to take 52 ideas about my ancestors, week by week and add them, after the year ends, to my genealogy pages. Sounds simple enough, but of course it won't be.
Oh I'll begin just fine, but then the weather will get warm and I will want to be outside and in the garden or on my horse- so giving myself this blog also gives me permission to take a few minutes out of each WEEK and write to the weeks prompts.

Wish me luck!

The first prompt is -- FIRST.

Everyone needs to begin somewhere, and the 'go to' first would of course be myself. Ego, Id, self, etc. BUT I am going to begin with the first time I thought about my past, my genealogy.
It would have to be me, under the kitchen table listening to my parents and grandparents telling family stories. Stories of each of their sister, uncles, relatives, grandmothers and grandfathers. I listened with rapt attention, but because I wasn't suppose to be in the room ( little pictures have big ears) I had to sit quietly and not ask questions.
Not ask questions about why my two Great Aunts have wildly different names from the ones they were born with. Not ask questions about where their mother had been. Not ask questions about why Great Uncle Isaac walked away from the Civil war battlefield and was never seen again. Not ask questions about the coffin in the ice house, the run away team through the grape vineyard, my grandfather living in a box to finish high school, or why my grandmother was on her own at age 14.

I have been searching for these answers for a very long time, and only now are some of those questions being answered after searching, slogging, picking my way through many, many pages of documents.
How much easier it would have been to be able to just ask Granny about her father and mother. Or ask Grandfather about his runaway mother.
The first questions would have begun with, " Why?"
Why did they marry?
Why did they Divorce?
Why did Great Grandmother Die?
Why didn't anyone go looking for Isacc?
The question of why begs to be answered with feelings; and feelings are lost among the papers of the past. No one can delve the mind of a long dead relative, one can only speculate. I suppose that is why it is at the end of the long list of questions you are suppose to ask to tell any story.
Who, What, When, Where and WHY.

If anyone reading this blog is involved in the 52 Week Challenge, or is just interested in genealogy, let that be the first question that you ask any living relatives. Let that be the driving question as you write your missives to future generations.
Why you fell in love.
Why you got a divorce.
 Why you moved across the country, the continent, the town.
Tell us the only thing we cannot endeavor to answer correctly for ourselves.
It may be painful, or shameful or thrilling to you, but in a few years our children's children will want to know. They will need to understand.
Let that be your legacy to them.