What's LOVE got to do with it?

In our modern society, we are fascinated and ruled by the thought of Romantic Love.
Hearts, Flowers, Candy, Long walks in the moonlight. 
But my Ancestors probably did not have that same luxury.  The Ancestors in my tree had to scramble, work and starve as they eked out a life. The thought of Romantic Love probably never entered their minds.

As I have written about, my first Cockerham relative was married to a Cherokee woman in the late 1700's. Did he love her in that way? More than likely he needed a woman for several reasons; an ambassador to the tribal lands he wanted to explore,  a work mate, a sex partner, someone to raise his children, tend his stock and mend his clothes. Was his wife in love with him? Or did she do as she was told by her parents or tribe? Did she regret hitching her life to his? There are no letters, diaries or family history to say either way. They raised several children together, and those children were successful, so I must imagine the union was successful as well.

My 4x Great Grandfather Samuel married a girl that was close to his family in location. Theirs was a union of convenience I'm sure. Elisabeth already had a child by an unknown man, though Samuel was her first marriage. When Samuel died late in the Civil War, she was already pregnant with his brothers child. She married the brother, James S.A. within two months of Samuel dying. Did She love James? Again, it's hard to know what was in her mind, except providing for her living children. She went on to birth 10 more by James.

David and Eva Harms and Family

Recently I was gifted with copies of a diary set down by my 2xGreat Grandmothers husband, David Harms. David was a Russian immigrant, Eva was a Polish immigrant. They both went to the same Mennonite church. I think David saw her first, as Eva worked as a maid for David's brother, as well as tended children at church functions. One day he went into the nursery and declared his fondness for her, and declared he wanted to be her husband. She was surprised, to be sure.

David wrote, " We decided to pray on this matter. Later we agreed that this was God's plan for us. I took her to be a gift from God, for me. We drove to her parents to ask her father Unruh, he said,  "Na, Eva. Waut welst dru met dem Russa Jung?"  We were of different dialects, she came from Poland, and I from Russia. We could hardly understand each other, but love is the same language, which we can all understand. We were married August 1 1881."
Later Eva wrote that when David was sick and bound to die, she spent the night next to his bed praying for her beloved husband to recover. He did.

Closer to my generation, my Grandmother Laura Gloeckler absolutely fell in love with my Grandfather. She was Eva's Granddaughter. Laura had been sent ahead of her family from Canada to Wasco, California. She was 15 years old and a long way from her home and most of her family. I believe she met Wally through a friend. Laura had never been considered a handsome girl, she was gawky and 'low'. But she fell in love and  Wally fell in love with her. They were married May 30, 1931. They had three children.
A testament to this is a strange story that Laura recounted to me.
She was pregnant with their first child, and went to a maternity home to give birth. There, to her surprise, she gave birth to twin boys. The Doctor knew she was having twins, but didn't want to scare her, so he kept that information from her. Both boys were very small. One was particularly weak, and not really expected to survive. The Doctor took my Grandfather aside and told him he should leave the weak baby there, were they would take care of it until it died. Wally took one look at Laura and the two babies in her arms and refused. Though they had little money, he went home and emptied and drawer, lined it with blankets and brought Laura and the two babies home, where both boys thrived.
They were married for over 50 years.

Who would you like to meet, if you could choose an ancestor to have a meal with?

What a fun question!

So many choices and so many stories I'd want to hear! Each era would have a special moment!

BUT....if I had to choose only one, I would choose my 7x G Grandmother ~ Elizabeth Cockerum

You will see why in a moment~

Original 13 States

In 1780 , when she was born, the United States of America had just become a 'thing', a going concern and had begun it's journey to be the Greatest Nation on Earth. But though it has been through the Revolutionary War, the War of 1812 is still looming on the horizon. The Native Americans are still holding an uneasy truce with the settlers and explorers now coming for free land and the promise of a better future. The land looks vast and empty but it is inhabited with people of many tribes. Cherokee people are friendly to many settlers, and if a man was brave and strong and clever, he married into a tribe to assure his passage through their lands and to have a help mate in his endeavors.

Shallow Ford. Did Elizabeth and John Y cross the River here?

Such a union was undoubtedly the reason behind my 7x Great Grandmothers marriage to John Y (Jessee) Cockerham. I am quite certain she had a name given to her by her parents, but in 1780 tribal births were not recorded. The name that I have found for her is Elizabeth. (And as side note they may have called her Alice). She and John Y lived on the banks of the Chattahoochee River and ran a Ferry service.
 I found them in ECHOS(publication) 1982, Volume 27, a reprint. The Cherokee Treaty , July 18, 1817

" John Cockram (sic) in right of WIFE, southside of Chattahoochee River, near Shallow Ford, (Nov. 10) with Six in family. 

But in another weird twist- I found that the family moved in 1808! BEFORE the Treaty was signed. 

John Y  must have felt the tensions rising. How astute must he have been to set off earlier !

Original Territory of the Cherokee Nation

The Cherokee Treaty, in 1817 agreement gave the Cherokee an equal amount of land in Arkansas. The Cherokee ceded lands in northwest Georgia and southwest Carolina for this Treaty. A minority of Cherokee agreed to the swap, most did not. The intent of the Treaty was to extinguish all Cherokee claims in North Carolina, (but another Treaty was needed for that 2 years later).

A little more research and I found that the Treaty  gave the emigrants a flat bottom boat, one rifle gun, ammunition, one blanket and one brass kettle and a beaver trap, which was considered full compensation for the improved land they left behind.

Louisiana Purchase Territory map

The opening of the Louisiana Purchase lands in 1804  made all this possible, and the President of the United States was also trying to settle the land West of the Mississippi , the Arkansas River and the White River with people who were hearty, and loyal to the USA.

The way I found Elizabeth and John Y was their son- Henry Clay Cockrum- born in 1809. He must have been one of the six that were noted. Henry Clay became a Judge for Randolph County in Arkansas.

Henry Clay also had a Native American name, given to him by his mother- Au Nuk Ka Tah.

Can you imagine- a half breed man as a Judge in Arkansas in 1820? What an incredible man he must have been and what an incredible woman Elizabeth must have been to name him with a famous American name as well as her Native name?  How extraordinary she must have been, encouraging him to be better than a Ferryman or Farmer.

Elizabeth holds a lot of the answers to my questions.
What was the land like in 1790's and beyond?
What induced her to marry a Scot?
What was her parents name? Where did they live? Who were they?
Did you receive any compensation for your lands?
I could add to that list all day!

I may never have the answers to any of those questions. I may never find her grave, or the grave of her husband John Y. But in my research I have learned about American History, I have reached out to many new cousins, and who knows? Maybe they have some answers for me.

My father, Thural D Berry. Thick black hair, and a hawk like gaze.

I was always told that we have Native American blood. I wanted to believe it, but the chances of it being true were slim. When I found Elizabeth in the Census, and in the publication, when I traced her blood through my generations, I was so excited. The amount of NA blood is very diluted now- but I am proud of it just the same.

It showed itself in various members of my family, my father had jet black hair and a muscled body. His Grandmother, Senia Mae Cockrum  also had jet black hair and high cheekbones. Dad said she still lived in a family cabin as an old woman, on the banks of the Current River in Arkansas. He said she smoked a corn cob pipe and he was a little bit afraid of her.