Hearts, Flowers, Candy, Long walks in the moonlight.
But my Ancestors probably did not have that same luxury. The Ancestors in my tree had to scramble, work and starve as they eked out a life. The thought of Romantic Love probably never entered their minds.
As I have written about, my first Cockerham relative was married to a Cherokee woman in the late 1700's. Did he love her in that way? More than likely he needed a woman for several reasons; an ambassador to the tribal lands he wanted to explore, a work mate, a sex partner, someone to raise his children, tend his stock and mend his clothes. Was his wife in love with him? Or did she do as she was told by her parents or tribe? Did she regret hitching her life to his? There are no letters, diaries or family history to say either way. They raised several children together, and those children were successful, so I must imagine the union was successful as well.
My 4x Great Grandfather Samuel married a girl that was close to his family in location. Theirs was a union of convenience I'm sure. Elisabeth already had a child by an unknown man, though Samuel was her first marriage. When Samuel died late in the Civil War, she was already pregnant with his brothers child. She married the brother, James S.A. within two months of Samuel dying. Did She love James? Again, it's hard to know what was in her mind, except providing for her living children. She went on to birth 10 more by James.
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| David and Eva Harms and Family |
Recently I was gifted with copies of a diary set down by my 2xGreat Grandmothers husband, David Harms. David was a Russian immigrant, Eva was a Polish immigrant. They both went to the same Mennonite church. I think David saw her first, as Eva worked as a maid for David's brother, as well as tended children at church functions. One day he went into the nursery and declared his fondness for her, and declared he wanted to be her husband. She was surprised, to be sure.
David wrote, " We decided to pray on this matter. Later we agreed that this was God's plan for us. I took her to be a gift from God, for me. We drove to her parents to ask her father Unruh, he said, "Na, Eva. Waut welst dru met dem Russa Jung?" We were of different dialects, she came from Poland, and I from Russia. We could hardly understand each other, but love is the same language, which we can all understand. We were married August 1 1881."
Later Eva wrote that when David was sick and bound to die, she spent the night next to his bed praying for her beloved husband to recover. He did.
Closer to my generation, my Grandmother Laura Gloeckler absolutely fell in love with my Grandfather. She was Eva's Granddaughter. Laura had been sent ahead of her family from Canada to Wasco, California. She was 15 years old and a long way from her home and most of her family. I believe she met Wally through a friend. Laura had never been considered a handsome girl, she was gawky and 'low'. But she fell in love and Wally fell in love with her. They were married May 30, 1931. They had three children.
A testament to this is a strange story that Laura recounted to me.
She was pregnant with their first child, and went to a maternity home to give birth. There, to her surprise, she gave birth to twin boys. The Doctor knew she was having twins, but didn't want to scare her, so he kept that information from her. Both boys were very small. One was particularly weak, and not really expected to survive. The Doctor took my Grandfather aside and told him he should leave the weak baby there, were they would take care of it until it died. Wally took one look at Laura and the two babies in her arms and refused. Though they had little money, he went home and emptied and drawer, lined it with blankets and brought Laura and the two babies home, where both boys thrived.
They were married for over 50 years.
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